Aidan at Beach

Aidan at Beach

Monday, January 16, 2012

Parenting Perils

I can't believe it's been a week since I updated here.  Our weather has been so crazy: warm and really spring like one day followed by two or three days of absolutely frigid weather that makes me want to just hole up with an afghan, nice big fire in the fire place and a good book.  These cold days have meant that poor Aidan has been a bit cooped up!  And add to that, Pat has been on the midnight shift. . .a recipe for some not so good behavior.

For the most part, Aidan is a very good and very well behaved little boy.  Further, he is kind, sensitive and caring--traits I absolutely cherish in him.  In fact, I am really proud of how well he has been doing lately.  However, a bad day does happen every so often. . .who among us has not had a bad day every so often???  Friday was Aidan's.

When I went to pick him up at Winwood, he got very whiny and downright mean and told me he didn't want to go home.  In fact, he said he really just wanted to live at Winwood.  Now, when he says things like that, I know he doesn't really mean it.  But, that doesn't make it hurt any less.  So I got him into his coat, grabbed his backpack and we headed out to the car.  It was a very silent ride home. 

The entire way, I wrestled with the thought of how to handle this situation.  Meanwhile, a very pouty, whiny and generally disagreeable Aidan sat in the back seat.  Finally, I decided I needed a couple of minutes without him right there in order to compose myself so that I could talk to him about his behavior with love showing on my face. . .not the angry hurt I knew was there.  So, when we got home, I told him he needed a time out and to go to his room.  I put things away and got organized to start dinner--but didn't start it--and then sat down and took a couple of deep breaths.  Then, I called him down--about 2 1/2 minutes had gone by, but it was enough to separate the situation to calm me.

I talked to him about how mcuh I love him and how I look forward to seeing him all day and then can't wait to get there to pick him.  So, when he acts the way he did, it's really hurtful.  I asked him to imagine looking forward to see me and that when he finally did I was angry with him and told him I didn't want to live with him . . .the look on his face!  I could see that I had spoken to his heart: Aidan is a very sensitive and caring boy.  I then told him that I could understand if he didn't want to stop playing, but that there are better ways of saying so without hurting someones (mine, especially!) feelings.  I then gave him a huge hug and told him how much I loved him and then said he could go and play. 

Before he left, I had started opening his backpack only to discover there was a note from his teacher at Leesburg Elementary about how he had not sat well during a class discussion and was actually acting up.  Before I could stop myself, the words "Well, that's disappointing." had come out of my mouth.  My poor Aidan immediately started to cry. . .oh man.  I grabbed him up and cuddled him on my lap and told him again how much I love him and that every one has a bad day every so often.  He was actually trying to stop himself from crying!!  I told him it's okay to cry and that he should let it out.  He did. . .I held him until it was over saying over and over how much I love him and that it's okay to have a bad day every now and again.  Poor baby!!! 

After Pat got up, I told him, quietly, what had happened and then heard Aidan crying again!  Apparantly, he was upset because now Daddy knew. . .So I told him it was okay and then I made him some homemade hot chocolate.

And, it just occurred to me that it's possible he didn't want to come home was because of the note in the backpack!  This parenting thing has a lot of perils involved. . .

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